Aperture
Aperture n., 1. An opening, such as a hole, gap, or slit. 2. A usually adjustable opening in an optical instrument, such as a camera or telescope, that limits the amount of light passing through a lens or onto a mirror.
[Middle English, from Latin apertūra, from apertus, past participle of aperīre, to open.]
This [...]
pancakes & dumplings
He is on the mend. All your love after my last post meant the world to me. I laugh now at how worked up we managed to get ourselves. But then I stop laughing and am deeply, profoundly grateful. Google + parenting = not such a great idea sometimes. No? I love the Anna Quindlin [...]
What we hold with our hands
He’s come to our bed in the morning light. The covers are unwashed and rumpled. I am still thickly, mostly asleep, my eyes closed, my nose pressed against the warm fuzzy head of Sprout who has drifted back to sleep after being awake for the better part of the two previous hours. It is 6:30 [...]
Not catching any breaks
So, Bean seemed to doing better-ish. No fever, and a happy grin on his face. Then this morning he came into our room and was busy building a fort on our bed with his trains while DH showered and Sprout and I dozed nose to nose, and then suddenly he threw up. All. Over. Everything. [...]
The anatomy of worry
I have been silent the past few days because worry has crept up like fig roots in a well or vermin in the coop. It has been eating my quiet morning hours, and instead of writing I pace the house folding laundry and watch the rain turn to sleet. Fat wet flakes arrow to the [...]
Things to smile about
It was a better day. There was coffee and sunshine. Sprout’s smiles & coos. Bean’s fever was still there, but lower, and we hung out together and planted seeds and drew pictures and ate soup. Somehow we managed not to all cry at once, and we went for a run.
One day at a time, [...]
Kneeling
I press my palms to my face. My heart feels like a small bird caught in the high wires. Tonight, optimism is ash. I am on my knees by the wood stove, adding logs watching the flames lick up the bark, and both boys are crying. Bean has a fever of 102.5 and another ear [...]
1 month old
Sprout is one month old and change today. I keep wishing I could go back to old posts and find out what Bean was like at 1 month, but alas, I didn’t start blogging until he was more like 3 months old so I am forced to trawl my gmail archives for the laboriously detailed [...]
Windows
I have been noticing windows this week. Squares and rectangles with light pouring in, raw and bright, the way that new spring light does.
I’ve been noticing the way windows frame a view, just so: six small squares of pine and red maple sprouting tiny buds through the glass in the solid cherry wood of the [...]
This life
I went on my first run two days ago, and another today. Two miles each time. Sunshine, mud on the road, my squishy middle conforming to supportive snug of lycra and elastic, my feet happy in my shoes. It was a small, micro slice of euphoria: those thirty minutes, me, and the muddy road.
Along [...]